Stalking after a relationship has ended can lead to serious emotional distress and physical danger, highlighting the importance of seeking help if you feel threatened.
COMPASS, the Essex-wide domestic abuse helpline, recently helped a client named Casey* who experienced abuse from her ex-partner, and ongoing stalking. Throughout their three-year relationship, Casey’s ex had displayed controlling and coercive behaviour. She had ended the relationship a year ago and that’s when stalking via calls and texts began.
A non-molestation order was granted for six months, however as soon as this ended her ex made contact again. He told her he had time to reflect and had changed his behaviours. He asked to be friends and Casey agreed. But he then physically assaulted her when she told him she was in a new relationship. Threats to kill both her and new partner were made.
Casey went on to explain to COMPASS that the stalking had escalated, her ex had been “circling” her address, waiting outside her home and attending her workplace. COMPASS reviewed her situation and deemed her to be at high risk. As a result there was a discussion how COMPASS would work with other agencies to get the right care, support and safety planning advice.
Meeting with an Independent Stalking Advocacy Caseworker (ISAC)
An ISAC met with Casey to review cyber safety and screened her devices as part of this. An ISAC is a trained specialist who provides advice and support to anyone who has been a victim of stalking. In addition, an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) provided emotional support throughout and attended court to obtain a further non-molestation order.
Cyberstalking involves the use of digital technology to track and harass someone. This type of behaviour can include constantly checking in on someone and trying to get their attention even when they make it clear that they are not interested.
Casey was initially hesitant to report to Police due to fear of repercussions from her ex, so her IDVA discussed this further with her. When Casey agreed she would like to report and proceed, she was given full support.
Casey has expressed she is grateful for the support from her IDVA, stating she would not have been able to pursue a criminal case and would have likely dropped the charges.
* To protect identity, the names and photo used in this article are not of the actual person.
The ‘Rejected Stalker’
Find out more about the rejected stalker. The rejected stalker is typically an individual who cannot accept the end of a relationship, regardless of whether the relationship has lasted a few weeks, months or many years. Unlike other types of stalkers, the rejected stalker’s fixation is driven by their inability to let go of the relationship.
Clare’s Law
Stalkers often have a history of abusive behaviour, and you can use Clare’s Law to check if a current or former partner has a record of violence or abuse, helping you make informed decisions about your safety.
Get help
If you think you or someone you know if experiencing stalking, please call Compass today. They will listen, believe you and help you. Call COMPASS on 0330 333 7 444 or visit www.essexcompass.org.uk to request help.
