Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Day 2024 #MenYouAreNotAlone
The Reality of domestic abuse affecting men
For the year ending March 2023, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 751,000 men aged 16 years and over experienced domestic abuse in the last year.
One in every six to seven men will become a victim of domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime. This abuse can take many different forms and can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, or coercive controlling behaviour. It can begin at any stage of a relationship. Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off occurrence and incidents generally become more frequent and severe over time.
Why men stay silent about domestic abuse
Men often don’t report domestic abuse for a range of reasons, which can include societal expectations, stigma, and personal fears. Here are some key factors which contribute to why men may stay silent about abuse:
- Stigma and shame
Men can feel ashamed to admit they’re experiencing abuse, as society often portrays men as “strong” or “protective,” which can lead to feelings of failure or weakness. Many fear being judged or not taken seriously. - Fear of not being believed
Men often worry that others will doubt their claims of abuse, particularly when the perpetrator is a female partner. This fear can make men reluctant to come forward. - Lack of awareness
Many men may not even recognise what they’re experiencing is abuse. Male victims can also feel support services are not for them so they may not know where to turn. This can make them feel isolated and unaware that resources exist to help them. - Emotional attachment or guilt
Many men feel responsible for their partner’s well-being and worry about causing harm or abandonment. This emotional attachment can make them stay in an abusive relationship longer. - Child custody concerns
For fathers, there is often a fear of losing contact with children if they report the abuse. They may believe that the legal system will favour the mother, regardless of the circumstances. - Minimisation of abuse
Many men downplay their own suffering, convincing themselves that what they’re experiencing isn’t “real” abuse or isn’t severe enough to seek help for.
Understanding these barriers is crucial to creating a supportive environment where men feel safe and encouraged to seek help.
Local support for men in Essex
We know it can be incredibly challenging if you’re a man experiencing domestic abuse, you may feel frightened, isolated or uncertain about what to do. You may even feel ashamed but there is support available, there is a listening ear and there is hope for all men suffering any form of domestic abuse.
COMPASS is our Domestic Abuse Helpline for Southend, Essex and Thurrock. You can call them on 0330 333 7 444.
The Helpline is available from 8am to 8pm weekdays (including Bank Holiday Monday) and 8am to 1pm weekends.
Online referrals can be submitted at any time.
How can we help? – Essex Compass
Specialist Resources
The ManKind Initiative – Mankind Initiative is a specialist charity in the UK focusing on male victims of domestic abuse.
Dads Unlimited supports the emotional safety of men and those they care about through three key areas; supporting male victims of domestic abuse, supporting men with family separation, and supporting men’s mental health.
Galop offer emotional and practical support for LGBT+ people experiencing domestic abuse.