“I’m finally free from my abusive daughter”

(The names and photo used in this story are fictional to protect the identities of those involved)

Marie, a 66-year-old woman, suffered years of controlling and physically abusive behaviour from her daughter, Laura. Over time, the abuse became more severe. In January 2024, Laura seriously assaulted Marie. Following this, the police and an Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor (IDVA) assessed Marie as being at high risk of further harm.

The situation

Marie was extremely frightened after reporting her daughter to the police. Laura continued to harass her – calling constantly, making threats, and saying she would come to Marie’s home if her demands weren’t met. When Marie didn’t open the door, Laura would try to break in. Marie lived in constant fear. Laura controlled many aspects of her life, telling her what she could and couldn’t do, and threatening consequences if Marie didn’t obey.

Support and intervention

Susan, an IDVA from the organisation The Next Chapter, stepped in to support Marie. She helped Marie apply for a Non-Molestation Order to legally protect her from Laura. Susan also supported Marie in giving evidence to the police to help with a criminal case against her daughter.

With Marie’s permission, Susan contacted her GP to ensure she received medical care for her injuries and support for her mental health. Susan also provided ongoing emotional support and gave Marie information about counselling services that could help her recover from the trauma.

Moving forward

Marie is feeling more able to manage her own life with strong boundaries, there have been no further domestic abuse incidents, her safety has increased, and the risk level is no longer high.

With the support of Susan, Marie feels able to see the court case through and attend to give her evidence. With ongoing medical treatment, more serious charges are being considered following Susan sharing information with Police (with consent), plus a charge for Coercive Control.

Marie began to feel safer and more in control of her life. She was able to take steps toward healing and rebuilding her independence.

Marie says:

“I never said anything before because I did not think I would be believed, when my daughter hurt me, it was only then I acted.  I wish that I had done something sooner.

“I feel like a different person, with my daughter not being in my life, things have got so much better. My friends are so important to me and feel more like family – they have helped me through this difficult time.

“I am grateful to Essex Police and The Next Chapter.”

Domestic abuse isn’t just about hitting or hurting someone physically.

It can also be about controlling someone through fear, threats, or constant put-downs. This is called coercive control.  It’s when someone tries to take over another person’s life—by cutting them off from friends and family, taking away their freedom, and controlling what they do every day. Abusers may use subtle tactics that are slowly escalated in frequency and/or severity over time. Coercive and controlling behaviour is present in all forms of domestic abuse, it is a crime and can be reported to the police.

Get help

If you think you, or someone you know, is experiencing domestic abuse, please call Compass today. They will listen, believe you and help you. Call COMPASS on 0330 333 7 444 or visit www.essexcompass.org.uk to request help.